I almost killed myself trying to take care of my baby who would not eat. I have read more books and researched more things than I can say trying to get to the bottom of my first child’s health issues. And that is mostly why I started this blog…to help other moms with what I’ve learned along the way. If I can help just one mom with our experiences, that will be so worth it.

True fact: I had to stop writing this introduction twice to console my screaming almost two-year old. This is real mom life.

Sometimes our little ones just need their mom’s chest to bury their face into. Some kids need this more than others. This is definitely true of my second. As much as we love being the one they need; sometimes, we feel like we don’t get anything done really. We feel guilty for not getting other things done. And then, at the same time, we feel guilty for not spending every waking moment with our kids.

Why do we let mom guilt get the best of us?

We feel guilty if we breastfeed. We feel guilty if we don’t.

We feel guilty if our kids don’t eat healthy. We feel guilty if we don’t let them have enough treats.

We feel guilty for disciplining our kids. We feel guilty if we don’t discipline them enough. Disciplining kids sometimes feels like negotiating with terrorists. I now understand why our country refuses to do just that. Today, I found myself saying “come out here where I can see you” to my son who had snuck into my office and then laughed to myself as I realized it sounded like an episode of Cops.

We could literally feel guilty for almost every decision regarding our kids. I think we do this because we feel the judgments of other people, especially other moms. We get looks in the store because our kid is throwing a fit. We hear people say “I only breastfeed” or “why would you not just let them cry it out?” And most of the time, the guilt comes from our own insecurities because motherhood is hard! We had this idea of how it would be before we had kids. Do you remember saying “my kids will never act like that”? Then we had kids and everything changed.

First, we realized we were responsible for a human life. I don’t know about you but that was the most amazing and simultaneously terrifying moment in my life. You are the one solely responsible for this baby surviving and thriving. Parenthood is definitely the biggest thing I’ve ever been asked to do, but I was so up for the challenge and I’m sure you were too. We were filled with a love we had never known before they came along and we would do anything to take care of them the very best we could.

You love them and give it your best and that is okay. Stop being so hard on yourself! All they really need is you! God gave them to you and knew that you were meant to be their mom. Sometimes, we over think it.

Parenthood is not all black and white either. Not all kids are the same. What worked for someone else’s child does NOT always work for yours. If I could tell you all the things I tried to make my babies eat or make them sleep, we’d be here all day. Sometimes others don’t understand why things were so hard for you when they were so easy for them. I learned later on why things were a bit harder. It wasn’t because I was a bad mom and it wasn’t because they were bad babies.

I decided after being a mom, I would not judge other moms. Sure, I decided to do things a certain way for my kids and I felt very strongly about most of them. Although, I would try my best to not be the voice that made some other mom feel guilty for her choices. I knew what that felt like. And to be honest, moms know their own kids better than anyone else. Don’t ever doubt your mom instinct; you know more than you think.

I was more insecure with my first. After my second though, I can hold my own. I can stand up to the doctor when they ask me to do something I don’t want to (something very untrue of my first). I can insist on things and advocate for them because I know that if I don’t, no one else will. I am not the best mom. I don’t know the half of it but I’ve learned a lot and I want to share it with you.